Why Doest Thou Bother Me? ….. January 2, 2013

I suppose the answer to this question is clear. Why do christians (yes, I am aware that I did not capitalize the word christian) proselytize? Christianity in and of itself is a powerful mental virus. It can make its adherents do some very strange things, we must admit.

virus b

As a virus it has the need to spread to new hosts. Once instilled within its host, it urges its host to go forth and spread the infection via proselytizing. In fact, they are made to believe that the ultimate goal of this belief will not be realized until such time as everyone has been infected, or at least exposed, to the contagion.

Here are some of the reasons a christian is likely to give:

1. Jesus told us to.

Before Jesus ascended into heaven he gave his followers this reminder, “This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” Luke 24:47-49.

2. It’s good news!

The word gospel actually means “good news.” It’s the ultimate good news that Jesus died in our place for our sins and that through simple faith in him we have the gift of eternal life. As Romans 10:14,15 reminds us, “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?”

3. It saves people from hell.bible

The Bible makes it clear that those who die without believing the gospel message go to hell. The apostle John put it rather bluntly in John 3:36, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him.”

So, it’s convert, or die. Simple and concise, black or white, no grays in between. See the light or forever remain in the dark. Accept and gain life immortal, reject and receive death immortal. Only the Sith deal in absolutes.


Over the years I have been threatened numerous times with hell eternal by “wonderful” christians citing dreary passages from their holy tome. It seems they do not understand fully when you explain to them that you do not believe in any of it. They spout their threats and seem to pause, expecting, it seems, some kind of display of fear or angst about what they have spewed. For many of these poor wretched victims of the mind virus it is baffling when no fear or angst is forthcoming. Then, when you begin to undermine the foundation of their beliefs by citing facts of your own, accrued by honest study, you transform into a leper, from which they cannot retreat quickly enough. The truth, it seems, causes a flight response to be issued by the viral meme.

What can you do to make it clear that you do not want their “kind” advances? How do you politely tell them that their lives have been wasted in service to a cause, a creator, which does not exist? These well-meaning automatons of god need enlightenment. Like the fingernail being dragged on the chalkboard these people persist.

cow eyesvending machine coin

Without physically removing the cow-like eye of one of these servants of Jeebus with my carefully placed thumb, how can I otherwise impart my irritation upon receiving repetitive beseeches to submit or die. I have tried a kindly “no thank you”. Most often that results in the reflexive proffering of christian material in the form of tracts, as if “no thank you” was a coin inserted into a vending machine slot.


So, in desperation, I sought some solution, a small measure of relief, from the incoming parade of intellectually void viral agents at my door.

no christians please a

I posted a sign.

Only one lone missile from the far-right has since encroached upon my peace and well-being, and they departed once I directed them to the sign prominently displayed on my door.

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